A Pity Party

To my friend:

The things you wrote so long ago
Assure me that you love me.
They say I am a closest friend
And that you think I'm of great worth.

But since I dirtied up our love
There's nothing I can do
To repair the damage or the trust.
From here, it's up to you.

But it's been a year since I've heard your voice.
It's been almost that since you've written.
I tried to keep up my end of the conversation
But the silence was deafening.

I eventually gave up, for the most part.
I try a random attempt now and again.
But my inner psyche knows, or fears,
That I'm just not on your mind.

I wonder if you think ill of me.
I wonder if you think of me with fondness.
I wonder if your thoughts of me fill you with repulsion.
I wonder if you think of me at all.

I wish I could hear your voice.

To God:

The things you wrote so long ago
Assure me that you love me.
They say you count the hairs I have.
And that you think I'm of great worth.

But since I dirtied up our love
There's nothing I can do
To repair the damage or the trust.
From here, it's up to you.

But it's been a very long time since I've heard your voice.
It's been 2000 years since you've written.
I've tried to keep up my end of the conversation.
But the silence is deafening.

I often feel like giving up.
But I try, often without hope, again and again.
But my inner spirit fears
That I'm just not on your mind.

I wonder if you think ill of me.
I wonder if you think of me with fondness.
I wonder if your thoughts of me fill you with repulsion.
I wonder if you think of me at all.

I wish I could hear your voice.