Since Jesus went through everything you're going through and more, learn to think like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of always expecting to get your own way. Then you'll be able to live out your days free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.1 Peter 4:1-3
Wow! Break the habit of expecting to get your own way, and stop being tyrannized by your wants. Just, wow!